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OK - after four months I have finally gotten up to around 1000 unique readers per day, on average. It seems to me that I have about 500-700 fairly loyal readers that come here every day or every other day, plus traffic from Google.

For my traffic levels, I get very few comments on what I write. I want to make this more of a community and encourage people to add to what I write, and stick around and spend some time here. Also, and probably some of this has to do with my site name and the fact that I tend to rank high with Google, I get as many comments from libs as I do from conservatives. It's like they think I'm an authority or some crap. I would like nothing more than a community that takes these people on, so I can spend more time writing and linking to stuff that you will enjoy.

I take my weekends very seriously during football season. When I was employed I only worked football weekends on the rare occasion that I was trying to prove myself to an employer. I sure as hell am not going to do so now. Barring major news, I won't be posting much the next two days. In the meantime, I would appreciate any advice from those of you who come here regularly on how I can make Conservatism Today more reader (and commenter) friendly.

Thanks.

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I think my entire life I have done the same thing and I canapos;t help it. Making goals, projections, and counting down to things is all I ever do. Like Iapos;m sitting here at 2am before I go to bed wasting time on my weekend at home thinking about how I donapos;t want Monday to come. I love how I spend my free time being sad that it is finite instead of just enjoying it fully.

I sit here now saying to myself, "30 days of 5am wake ups left." I will sit for an hour even and just think of all the shit I have to go through in the next 5 weeks to get to Thanksgiving Vacation. I always have a goal of time that Iapos;m working towards. Depending on the month it could be anything. Once Thanksgiving is over my next target is X-mas break. After X-mas break my target is graduation, and then finding a job. Amongst my larger targets I have a ton of smaller targets like getting from weekend to weekend. I have all of these goals, all of these things I am striving to get to but I never savor the journey to them. I feel like I waste a lot of life thinking about the future. I probably have never lived in the here and now. I donapos;t give a fucking shit about the present most of the time unless itapos;s within my target.

And I build up my targets in my mind as somewhat Utopian. Will Thanksgiving break be much more than being mostly bored at home? Probably not, but I build it up so much that it makes the weeks leading up to it seem like a miserable hell. Maybe if I didnapos;t have such lofty thoughts for my targets I wouldnapos;t seem to hate the times in between so much. I never appreciate the journey to anything. Even little shit Iapos;m always thinking forward to. My 2.5 hour drives to and from State College are annoyances to me. I just want to be one place or the other, I never really enjoy the drive. I want to accomplish my goal, and thereapos;s always 20 more goals to follow. Iapos;m never satisfied or complacent with things.

Iapos;m weird, and thatapos;s all I really had to say.

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So ironically I now believe so much in karma. Youapos;ve probably heard about actions that has consequences, fate and destiny bla bla bla a million times and youapos;re probably sick of it but I kid you not.

I can vividly remember the moments you promised me youapos;d wait for me to come back and with much hopes you constantly went back to your ex girlfriend. The feeling of� being cut down after holding on to oneapos;s rope for so long is an emotional ride that one has to tackle by themselves. In life, you make both right and wrong choices, some has worser consequences and hell everyone knows it one of the most hardest inevitables. But dealing with the consequence and overcoming it with tolerance and patience is what that makes you humane enough.

Given the misleads and untowardly thrown when I was with you, I learned that nothing is impossible. If only.

I miss you.

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Study.�Study.�Study. Mug. Mug. Mug. Thatapos;s what life is all about right now for all the humans taking Os. Goodbye to going out, goodbye to social life. Goodbye to almost everything that is related to fun. D: Bright side, after 28 days or so itapos;d be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM. :D I can smell it. :D�I canapos;t wait.

Awesome time to catch a cold. The flu bug needs to go. Really, shooooooooo

Almost completed the chem tys, almost done with geog. Continuing with maths, physics and poa tonight. It just occurred to me, BIO I have not start on bio and bio is currently, not my best subject, not even close. I need to start on that. Oh god. Yes, everyone is going tsktsktsk, you should have started earlier. Soooooo i was playful, still am actually. But heyyyyyyyyyy i got the message, am going to do hardcore studying. Or at least i hope i can. TPTPTPTPTPTPTPTPTP, yes tp, mass comm or business course. Goal is set, books on my table, whatttt is pulling me back, well, myself. My playful self. D: I hate the fact that i love to party and play all night long. Or all day and night long in fact. I need to lock this part of me up and start pulling the not so often seen side of me out

HILLARY�STUDY�STUDY�STUDY. You know you can. I know i can�Okay yes, iapos;m talking to myself. Itapos;s self motivation. Itapos;s nottttt my fault I need every bit of motivation i can get now. Anything and everything that can push me to study. I need a calling too�D:

After Os i can do what so ever i want. All the fun i missed out, i can claim them back. Yes. I need to study now. Itapos;s just bloody 28 more days. Itapos;s not that hard. Everything will go POOF and before i know it, itapos;s 13th nov and iapos;ll be at butter fact having the time of my life, O levels will disappear from my life.

13th NOVEMBERRRRRRR, PARTY�@�BUTTER�FACTORY�I�CANapos;T�WAIT�:D:D:D:D:D

XOXO,
hillary
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Does anyone know how to put in a car battery? I feel stupid for asking since it seems so simple, but I donapos;t want to mess up my car. I live in Bounadary, but the car currently is at Weston since I had it towed there.

The other day it stalled and kept dying even after I cranked it, so I think itapos;s the alternator, but I need to get it to Advanced Auto Parts or something so I can get it checked out and get an alternator so I donapos;t have to rely on a mechanic to do that. But my mom suggested I get a new battery first and see if thatapos;s the problem, if I can get it to the store.

Iapos;m willing to pay with a large pizza from Mr. Pizza or something if anyone can. Thanks.

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���� Well good morning everyone, welcome to my Inaugural post.� Between receiving the idea from my wonderful mom and a friend, I decided to start a blog.� I find that it will be a lot easier to blog than making a chain mail to everyone.� There are no guarantees or set times when I will update this.� It will be pretty much be whenever I have free time or lots of homework that I am trying to put off.
���� I guess Iapos;ll start off that today my life has officially come to an end.� At this tie of day I have already worked out twice, a cardio workout in the morning and a lift right after.� The real reason for my demise though is the fact that today is the "first" day of "official" wrestling practice.� We shall see if my coach holds true to his 3-5 practice time promise.� He (Coach Buckley) was pretty good about that last year so I hope it continues through this year.� As for my wrestling year, it looks very promising.� Once again I will be wrestling at 184 pounds although its been a little harder shedding off the pounds.� The whole weight-cutting process will be a lot easier now that we wrestle hard 5 times a week so Iapos;m not really worried.� Our wrestle-offs occur November 8th so my weight has to down by then.� When the time comes Iapos;ll let you guys know how it went; Iapos;m feeling pretty confident though.� On a more serious note, I have received my first serious injury.� Through a combination of long, hard runs and wrestling hard early on I have torn my medial meniscus on my right knee.� It may sound bad but it is not too serious of an injury.� The doc says I do not need surgery (yet, at least) and can do everything for the most part normal.� I started to wrestle hard again and it hasnapos;t given me anymore pain than I have had before so that looks positive.� On a positive note, the injury gets me out of running so I can be happy for that.� So weapos;ll see how long I go before a more serious tear or I can no longer wrestle to my full potential.� I am mad however that my lifting has gone down due to this injury but oh well, Iapos;m thankful I can still do most things.
���� My final topic is school, which I am very positive about so far.� I had my first true midterm last night in my Music Humanities class.� While the technicalities of music is not my forte (hah a little play on words there, Iapos;m so witty) I feel like I did really well on the midterm.� It wasnapos;t very long and the majority of it was listening.� The listening portion seemed pretty easy and I was pretty confident on my answers.� The essay worked perfectly for me because the topic dealt with the reasons for the "rise of instrumental music."� Easy.� Threw in some stuff about the Renaissance and technology and the essay basically wrote itself.� Also in that class, we had to see a "classical" music performance and write a 3-pager on our experience.� I decided to see my first opera.� I expected at the time to see some obese man singing loudly, blowing up my ear drums and any nearby glass objects.� It was completely different from what I thought it to be and to my surprise, I actually liked it a lot.� Seeing an opera was enjoyable and I wouldnapos;t mind seeing another one in the future.� How cultured I feel right now is just blowing my mind; 2 years ago I would have laughed at the concept.� Writing the paper was easy and it went well so hopefully my teacher shares my same views.� More importantly, I just knocked off a 5-pager in my Contemporary Civilizations class.� The class is pretty much a straight philosophy class we are required to take.� It deals with Plato, Aristotle, Machiavelli and the likes.� It really isnapos;t too bad except the readings are very monotonous and hard to read the whole assignment.� My paper topic was how even though Platoapos;s Republic and The Ten Commandments are totally different texts, they share similarities.� Basically, most of the Ten Commandments can be seen in The Republic and are similar to Platoapos;s ideals.� I know it may be hard to contain your feelings of the awesomeness of the topic.� I rocked the paper however and I feel it came out really well since the BS was lacking throughout it.� The midterm for the class is next Wednesday so you will most likely get an update from it.
���� Well I think that is enough for my first post, I hope I didnapos;t ramble on too much for everyone.� I hope you enjoyed my post and I hope everyone is doing really well.� Hopefully sometime after my year is over Iapos;ll be able to visit/see everyone.� Iapos;ll keep everyone updates as much as possible as long as wrestling does not claim my life entirely.� Until next time, dueces.

-Mike Pushpak
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Daimon and Miriam are on a Convenient Nexus Couch poring over Daimonapos;s laptop.

"No, I seriously doubt you can pass any of those off as "artistic" versions of ordinary furniture," Miriam scoffs gently, patting him on the back. "Except perhaps the giant bean bag."

"Well, maybe not. Look, what about this one?" He points out something on the screen hopefully.

She cocks an eyebrow at him. "Itapos;s covered in black plush velvet. Unless youapos;re decorating with Elvis paintings, I doubt it will go with anything--"

"--right, right, I get you. Ah, too bad." He shrugs and moves on to the next link.

Miriam blinks slowly. "Five feet tall, wide-bore, hand-blown cobalt, four pipes. Ehm, what are you planning to pass that off as to your more sensitive guests? Art glass?"

He shrugs. "I doubt Iapos;d be bringing it out around more sensitive guests." He looks up and addresses the crowd at large. "So, whatapos;s your favorite vice, scandalous or not?"

"And for that matter," Miriam follows up, "Which vices do you consider scandalous, or scandalous to discuss in public?"

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My mother gets out of the air port at 11:30 in the evening from her visit at the air port , I call my 16 year old sister home(shes 16 she should be home by like 8:00 ) . The little bitch gives me attitude over the phone.� She gets home with her friend holding her up .� She was more shit faced than I was when I turned 21 .� Her friend was puking as they were walking each other to my motherapos;s house .�� The told me I was being an ass hole for yelling� at them .�� They were stupid .���� If you ask me they were lucky I didnapos;t beat them through a wall.
The woke me up at 12 when the walked in screaming some emo song .� Poor mom walked in for that shit .
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After another brush with a bonehead date, Iapos;m finally beginning to ask myself (seriously this time) why the hell do I insist on dating only religious men?? Theyapos;re all crap. They presume to be "Zadikim" and "Ruhniyim" (as in spiritual, the vuzvuz pronunciation). Maybe they are, so Zadikim and Ruhniyim that God reveals himself to them after 20 minutes of conversation with me to tell them Iapos;m not the one for them. Or maybe theyapos;re so busy creating the impression of being Zadikim and Ruhniyim around them that they only look for the impression of someone whoapos;s on the outside "Zadika" and "Ruhnit" (or maybe just a young girl whoapos;s naive enough to be impressed with such shit).

Well, I donapos;t pretend to be something Iapos;m not. Iapos;m not a Zadika, Iapos;m not Ruhint, and most importantly - I donapos;t spend time and energy trying to create that stupid impression. That doesnapos;t make me any less than them or with less faith in God.

So - Iapos;m still religious, still Shomer Shabbes and the works, but Iapos;m kicking off religious men. At least the secular men canapos;t be bothered with creating the aura around themselves that proclaims them better than anyone else. The religious community has seriously let me down these last three or four years - I find myself looking at a petty, arrogant, self-indulgent community. I wish weapos;d work harder on our strengths and virtues (which are there, if you look hard enough) and worry less about what we look like.

And on this note - Shana Tova
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