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After another brush with a bonehead date, Iapos;m finally beginning to ask myself (seriously this time) why the hell do I insist on dating only religious men?? Theyapos;re all crap. They presume to be "Zadikim" and "Ruhniyim" (as in spiritual, the vuzvuz pronunciation). Maybe they are, so Zadikim and Ruhniyim that God reveals himself to them after 20 minutes of conversation with me to tell them Iapos;m not the one for them. Or maybe theyapos;re so busy creating the impression of being Zadikim and Ruhniyim around them that they only look for the impression of someone whoapos;s on the outside "Zadika" and "Ruhnit" (or maybe just a young girl whoapos;s naive enough to be impressed with such shit).

Well, I donapos;t pretend to be something Iapos;m not. Iapos;m not a Zadika, Iapos;m not Ruhint, and most importantly - I donapos;t spend time and energy trying to create that stupid impression. That doesnapos;t make me any less than them or with less faith in God.

So - Iapos;m still religious, still Shomer Shabbes and the works, but Iapos;m kicking off religious men. At least the secular men canapos;t be bothered with creating the aura around themselves that proclaims them better than anyone else. The religious community has seriously let me down these last three or four years - I find myself looking at a petty, arrogant, self-indulgent community. I wish weapos;d work harder on our strengths and virtues (which are there, if you look hard enough) and worry less about what we look like.

And on this note - Shana Tova
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